Diner Whores

When N and I started going to Frank's on a weekly basis it wasn't to get to know everyone that worked there. It wasn't to get their numbers, invite them to our parties, and go to their parties. All of that just kind of happened. I can't speak for N because I've never really asked N why she started going with me to Frank's every weekend, but for me it was something that grew out of loneliness. When I get lonely or feel isolated I stop eating. I think the first time that N and I went to Frank's for breakfast was more of a whim than anything. It was a, "Hey, you know what I've wanted to do more. . ." But Frank's is an exceptional diner in two ways. First, the food is, for me and apparently most of Spokane, just the right balance of grease and delicious. Second, at least at the N.side Frank's there's not a lot of staff turnover which gives the restaurant a sense of community. You can tell that the staff know each other and are a sort of family. Because I was feeling isolated in my own life that sense of community appealed to me and the food at Frank's enticed me to eat. Also, it was time with N, separate from all of the stresses of our everyday life. It was like a little island we could escape to for an hour a day--with hashbrowns, hot chocolate, and coffee. Perfection.

Everything that has happened since has been sort of coincidence: building some sort of flirtatious friendship with Carl which led to a friendship with Leo which led to discovering the weird connections between Frank's and Tomato Street and Frank's and The Onion.

As fun as this trip down memory lane is, it does have a purpose. It is the necessary history and introduction to understanding who we, N and I, have become: diner whores.

This fact has floated in the periphery of my consciousness for a long time but was brought home, forcefully, Sunday night. At Carl's birthday party. Sorry, I need to pause for a moment because I'm still kind of surprised and confused by the whole thing.

Through a strange twist of fate N was out of town and C was back in town, but scheduled to leave Monday morning at 7am. So, on Sunday afternoon Leo called and invited me to come to his house for Carl's birthday party. I was driving home from an awful weekend in Walla Walla, Washington and was up for anything that would distract me (as long as there was someone to go with me because I'm just not very socially brave on my own). C said she would go with me and so, at 9pm, after leaving Erika's Oscar party and driving around Lefty's a few times because (1) I got the directions wrong and (2) C and I always seem to have adventures involving Lefty's, we made it to Carl's birthday party.

I honestly had no idea what to expect. The one thing I was genuinely, completely, and totally unprepared for was the fact that I would know half of the people at the party. I really expected the party to be, well, like it was (more on that in a minute) but I expected to be observing from a corner without really knowing anyone but Carl and Leo who would probably both be busy playing host to other guests. But indeed, I did know half the people there. The official list is: Carl, Leo, Aaron, and Noree. Entering the party and seeing all of these familiar faces, happy to see me, was the moment when I had to face the truth: I am a diner whore. Through a mix of cunning, perseverance, and happenstance, I have wormed my way into these people's lives. I think they might be my friends.

The party itself was hilarious but hard to describe. Carl, Aaron, and someone I didn't know spent most of the time playing cribbage. The people I didn't know played pool. Noree was high-larious and, um, focused on Carl. A little bit through the party Kolbi showed up, as expected (for me. I rather think that it shocked the hell out of her). Throughout the party people wandered up to Leo's bedroom for herbal entertainments. Because the house is within walking distance from Lovers, http://www.loverspackage.com, all of the party decorations and gifts Carl recieved were definitely themed accordingly. For instance, the first thing that Leo presented us with when we walked in the door was a dark chocolate penis. My favorite party moment, by far, was when Leo and others brought in tons of breast ballons to the living room and Leo had his under his shirt--he looked like black Dolly Parton. However, Leo being a small, fit person and his clothing being appropiately fitted needed help removing his breasts. Things I never thought I would do. . .

I wish there was more I could say about the party, more stand alone moments of hilarity, but it was one of those things that needs to be taken in in its entirety. I didn't bring Carl a gift or a card. I really didn't know if I should since I haven't since him in, almost six months, I think. However, at one point during the party someone said something innocent, but my dirty mind did dirty things with it and I laughed, or rather, tried to stiffle laughter because I knew it was inappropriate. Carl turned from his cribbage game and said, "That's what I miss about you and N. You girls could make anything dirty. I haven't had anyone with a dirty mind around me for so long that I've stopped thinking like that. It's good to know that other people's minds are dirty too."

Possibly the best compliment I've received in ages and, really, could I have given him a better gift?