Monday, Monday

As we've mentioned before, going to Frank's on the weekdays is always a different ball of wax. This Monday my beloved nine-year old niece was staying with me and so, naturally, I took her to breakfast at Frank's. Carl saw me come in and, shock of shocks, came over to say 'hi' and tell me not to be seated until he waved me over. I was, to be completely honest, a little startled at the special treatment because it was just me. In fact, as long as I'm being honest, I avoid going to Frank's alone because I'm not sure of my reception as an individual. I feel that the Frank's staff thinks of us Breakfast Bitches as a unit and while they handle the unit well and appreciate us I'm never quite sure what they will think of me as an individual.

Once my niece and I were seated I handed her a menu, pointed at the kid's section, and asked, "What do you want?" Her answer, was instant and she didn't consult the menu before saying, "A side order of bacon."

I think at least three heads swiveled to face us and after a long pause Carl just said what everyone was thinking, "You guys are related, huh?"

Breakfast with my niece was fun. She decided she wanted ice-cream coffee with her bacon (she did actually get other food) and so we ordered all of the necessary ingredients and made it right there at the counter. This got us some strange looks from staff and patrons alike but we didn't care.

It was slow as it was about 10:30 on a Monday morning and the breakfast crowd was dwindling. Because it was slow we, for better or for worse, got a lot more of the staff attention than we would normally get. Carl said that Hannah and I made the same small, contented sigh when we ate bacon. Doesn't everyone sigh contentedly when they ate bacon? Also, Carl juggled spatulas for Hannah. She was impressed and, I have to admit, I fell a little bit in love with him. What can I say? I love men that know how to entertain children. Then, and I have no memory of how we got on the subject, we started talking about families and birth order and I found out that Carl is the third of four brothers. Oh God, it explains so much.

As fun as Monday was, I think that Saturday may take top honors for most fantastically awkward Frank's experience ever. I don't remember much of Saturday's breakfast because I was freaking out about the GRE's. I picked at my food and N tried to get me to think about something other than standardized testing. She recommended that, before the test, I go to Borders and by myself a romance novel for afterwards. Then Carl asked us what the point of romance novels was. He said he had tried reading one once and he didn't get it. N interjected with the fact that her uncle reads romance novels and her aunt swears that it makes him a better lover. At which point Carl proceeds to detail for us his philosophy of how to make love to a woman, which is: pay attention, she'll tell you everything you need to know. That information didn't help me on the GRE's but I suppose it's good to know in case I, in my turn, ever need to give someone advice on how to make love to a woman.